remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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