I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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