I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
