What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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