I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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