no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
