Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
