You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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