i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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