so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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