Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
