It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
