he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
