I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize