You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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