I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
