well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
