remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize