I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
