I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
