Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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