i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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