that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
