is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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