The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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