I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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