just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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