We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
