Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He did a backflip because drugs
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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