your parents love me but you hate me
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
