This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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