Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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