I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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