its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
