i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
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Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He passed out mid-signature
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
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I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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