yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
