is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I deserve this hangover.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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