I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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