Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
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i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
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That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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