I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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