Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
