whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
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I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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