i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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