I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
