he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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