based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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