im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
