The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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