Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots