dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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