I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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