Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
