I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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