So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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