she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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