A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I didn't shave. On purpose
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
