I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
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Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
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Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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