He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize