Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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