Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You were trust falling into bushes
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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