I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
