Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
