no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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