I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
