i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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